How to Recognize “Forever” and Make it Work
“Forever” begins with The Souls and continues with The Souls. If you doubt that forever is possible, then you have missed seeing a couple who are celebrating their 60th anniversary and are as in love as when they said: “I do”. Forever is not an idealistic journey where there is never an
argument or a disagreement. It has all those things, even horror stories about the difficulties encountered by the couple in the process of trying to come together. Many of the horror stories can be attributed to not recognizing the relationship for what it is and trying to force it into the pattern of previous relationships — even though those old relationships didn’t work out. Twin Soul relationships also entail triumph when that love is finally realized. The Journey to forever can be a difficult one.
It will require you to make some changes: changes in what you believe is possible, changes in what you believe you are capable of achieving, and changes in how you access and live your life. The funny thing about he road to forever is that it requires a revolution in your life many times. It may change who you think you are and show you a brand new exciting person with all kinds of new abilities and new perceptions. To get to this point, you must first accept the fact that the relationship that is causing this shift is different from any relationship you have ever had. It is also very likely to be different from your friends and your parents’ relationships as well.
My students often ask me, “Is my Twin Soul aware of how this relationship is different from all others? Is it affecting them the same way it’s
affecting me?” The answer is: Yes, they are aware of the difference and they are often frightened by the intensity of the feelings coming from you as well as their own intense feelings. This is one of the times when the ego steps in and says, “STOP”. It is here that many find the road to forever becoming very, very bumpy. It is at this point when your partner may do something to push you away.
It is very confusing to have someone who has declared their undying affection for you suddenly stop calling and start avoiding you altogether. This may occur within three weeks, three months or anywhere in the relationship. When the Physical Body’s fear-based emotions mix with the Ego in addition to other peoples’ perceptions of what constitutes a relationship, it will push The Souls aside.
The expectations of one party are that things should continue as they were when The Souls were in place, but that does not happen because Ego does not see the relationship with the same eyes that Soul does. We also tend to bring others’ opinions into the relationship. Unfortunately, they don’t always give good advice that will bring the relationship to fruition.
So what do you do? You still love this person and you can’t stop thinking about them and wanting to spend time with them. Your friends and your family have told you to move on; you are too good for someone to treat you like that — and many of your loved ones have decided they do not like your partner any longer. Despite all the encouragement to move on and meet someone new, you are still thinking of your Twin Soul and trying to sort out what went wrong.
Now your friends start to frown when you mention your Twin Soul. They accuse you of obsessing, which is very unhealthy. What they don’t know is that your soul is maintaining the connection between The Souls. It’s important to know that as you become more spiritually sensitive, you will also become acutely aware of the other person — even when you have not spoken in weeks. No amount of trying to put it behind you is working.
There is another force at work here: it is the force that understands forever. It is not a state of mind or a physical state; it is a state of Soul. So, you think, “Okay, this resembles me and my situation. What do I do about it? Because all the advice I have gotten so far has not changed my feelings for this person. If what I felt wasn’t real wouldn’t it have gone away by now? After all, I have been in other relationships and when they ended I was able to move on. So what’s different here?”
What is different is that in the past, you have experienced “soul mate” relationships. These are journeys with others that walk the same path as your soul for a time. When the path splits to go separate ways, there is a time of missing that person — or, in some cases, a sigh of relief that the person has moved on. The relationship you are now experiencing is called a Twin Soul/Twin Flame relationship. It is One Soul that exists in two different bodies. Your Souls are seeking a reunion to continue the “forever” that began when they first separated into two bodies.
So, what do you do with this information? Try to explain it to your friends and they will think you have really lost it and are just making up excuses for your obsession. Perhaps I can help you understand the steps along the journey to forever. It does require work with a part of your being that up until now you rarely thought about.
You must now figure out how to work with your soul to achieve the relationship that you both really want. And, if truth be told, your ex-partner wants this too. If the relationship is rocky, it’s apparent your partner is currently too controlled by Ego to go about fixing it with you.
When your Twin Soul retreats, chances are Ego has convinced your partner that the differences between you are so glaring — from “looks to friends to lack of common interests, etc.” — that there’s just too big a gap and it will never work. At times like these, friends and family are probably busy bolstering your partner’s ego, and leaving The Soul and heart out of the decision making.
Your Twin Soul relationship worked for a while before Ego reasserted itself and before family or friends told you what you should be doing in the relationship. It worked. And it worked really well, in fact: You both were happy and very much in love.
Unfortunately, when Ego forces The Souls aside to take control again, it needs someone to tell it how to deal with this unique relationship. Ego has limited capacity for love or for anything that requires deep commitment. It then starts to demand the relationship take on the characteristics of an ordinary physical relationship, often demanding tangible proof of love.
Ego is not happy with the happiness and the emotional satisfaction of being together. This usually starts the arguments because one partner feels
unnecessarily pressured and the other feels that if physical proof of affection is not shown, then by the “normal” standards it means they are not loved. What happens now is that the soul-based relationship is being derailed because Ego and outside influence has stepped in and taken control of a situation they know nothing about.
As a counselor looking at a Twin Soul relationship in this predicament from the outside, it almost looks like deliberate sabotage. What you had when things were good was much deeper than the ordinary relationships most people experience, and you would like to experience it again —without the painful side, of course. How do you accomplish that?
Especially since you and your Twin Soul may not even be speaking to each other at the moment.
To pursue this relationship with the intense soul connection intact, you must first acknowledge that your Twin Soul relationship is different from all the others you have had. Now you can and should start to handle it differently. First, the main person in this relationship is not your ego. It isn’t even your bodies, but your Souls.
It is the connection between The Souls that will put the relationship back on track. Now it is time for you to cultivate a personal relationship with your own soul. Think of it this way: You have an acquaintance that is good friends with someone you want to get to know, so you are going to need a bit of third party assistance here. Who better than the person that knows them best? That’s right, you talk to your partner’s Soul.
Most people perceive their souls as a weak, small part of their lives. In truth, the physical being is just a small part of the soul. We have spent a great part of our lives allowing Ego to direct our lives, but inTwin Soul relationships, Ego is definitely out of its league.
Ego is a pseudo guidance system created by our interaction with family, friends, teachers and all of those people who have expectations for our lives. Ego does not become a problem in our lives until it no longer cares what those people who have expectations of us think. It starts to run amok and then we get branded ‘egotistical’. It is at this stage in the journey to finding forever that you will find Ego getting in the way a lot because it compares this relationship to all the others you have had and to all the ones around it. Quite frankly, because your soul-based relationship is not acting at all like those ordinary ones, Ego will insist that it be dismissed. It is time for the first change, and that is the switching of who guides you through this relationship.
Ego must be replaced with your Soul who can then introduce you to the subtle connections and ways of communicating with your Souls’ partner. As you proceed to see the relationship through Soul’s eyes, you will also realize that the rest of you could use a bit of an overhaul as well.
Through your soul work, you will learn that you have a lot more control over your life than you thought. Positive thinking can change things for you and open doors that you did not know existed.
Learning to work with your Soul will require you to take some time out to direct your attention to the connection between you and your Soul; to bring the Soul from the back of your life where you have shoved it to the front — where it belongs. Making this connection and getting to know your Soul may be accomplished through the use of meditation and/or affirmations. You may now be wondering how is this going to help you get your Twin Soul relationship back on track. Well, remember The Souls always have a connection and an awareness of each other. They strive to maintain a balance with each other just as they maintain a connection with each other. As you and your Soul connect and remove Ego from having a key part in the relationship, this will also start to occur in the other body/soul connection as well.
The change will not occur overnight. It will take continuous attention to developing the spiritual connection between you and your Soul. Through this attention to your Soul, you can advance to the next level: Allowing the Soul to direct your actions both on a physical and spiritual level when interacting with your partner.
There are two reasons why this is possible. First, The Souls have been together for many lifetimes, so they are aware of what works with each other. Second, they are always connected, so the knowledge of when and how to do something for the optimum effect is being shared by The Souls all the time. Working with your soul, you have an inside intuitive track on what it will take to move things forward.